The case of unrealistic hair expectations

Whether it be for work, a party, a wedding, or for lazing around, so many of us turn to youtube/pinterest to get inspiration for hairstyles. I for one am very thankful for these avenues that remind me of how versatile our natural hair is. In the midst of all my hairstyle hunting I've noticed a trend happening that I want to discuss. 

So let's say, you see a style on youtube or pinterest, you love it!!! and you go to hairdresser to get it replicated (or you try it at home), but in the end it didn't come out how you envisioned it would. This can often lead to...

My hairstyles NEVER turn out how I want them!!!
Why can't my hairstyles look just like hers?

And in some extreme cases you may hear...


So what went wrong?
Many times, we blame it on the lack of skill (whether it be ours or the hairdresser), but let me ask you this. The style that you saw, did the person wearing that style have the same/similar curl pattern to yours? Did the person's hair in the photo or video appear to be on thicker/coarser side whereas your hair maybe thinner/finer texture? I ask this, because I believe many of us suffer with... 


Normally I use this terminology with regard to those who just big chopped but want bra strap hair in a month, but in this context, I am using it to define persons who think that a style they see on someone else will look the exact way on them. NOPE NOPE AND NOPE.
Our natural hair, though different, is all beautiful 
Like I always say, our hair is as unique as we are, so two people can have the same hairstyle done and it will not look the same...e.g. a twist out on 3b hair will not look like a twist out on 4c hair. I'm not saying that one looks better than the other, natural hair on a whole is beautiful to me. I just think that people should not go into a styling situation expecting your hair to look EXACTLY like the image that you gave you inspiration. Many of us need to be tad more realistic about our hair. Now you may be thinking..

What is so wrong with hoping it turns out EXACTLY how it looks in the pic??

There is nothing wrong with that, but there is a good chance it may not come out the exact same way, unless you have the same exact hair type/length/density/head shape as the inspiration and go to the same hairdresser. If any of those factors vary, then the probability of getting the exact result reduces. Even if you have the exact circumstances, it still may not come out the same. Or who knows, even with the difference in hair, it may come out the same. What I'm getting at is, don't set yourself up to the point where if the style doesn't work, you're huffing and puffing over the "downfalls of your hair".

So you see a style on youtube or pinterest, you love it!!! and you go to hairdresser to get it replicated (or you try it at home), but in the end it didn't come out how you envisioned it would. Now bear in mind, just because the style isn't exactly how you imagined it, doesn't mean it won't look good. When I shaved my hair into a tapered cut back in 2013 my hair didn't look like my inspiration picture at all, but was I happy with the end result? YES!!!!! 

So go out!!!! Pinterest and Youtube till you go crazy with ideas for hairdos. If you're doing it yourself, take the time to try them out, adjust the styles if need be. HAVE FUN WITH IT!!! But remember, if it doesn't turn out how you anticipated, it's not the end of world. Try again!!!

If you're getting it professionally done, give as much detail to your hairdresser so they understand what you want. Yes you have the image to give them as a guide, but I've learnt that persons can interpret styles differently, so be clear with what you want. 

HAPPY STYLING!!!! (And happy new year as well, I just remembered this is my first post for the year <3)

Tshenelle aka Nelly B.


  1. So on point! This happens especially for new naturals. I know it happened to me when I first went natural. Once I learned about the different textures I began to find styles, techniques and products that work for my hair. I definately appreciate all the different types of hair and the different style, but at the end of the day, I know my hair limits.

    1. We just to be real and accept the good and bad that comes with our hair, it's as simple as that.

  2. So so true. I used to spend so much time trying to "hack" the perfect twist-out until I realized it's just not meant for my hair texture. No matter what I do, it ends up looking like a shrunken wash and go. I'm glad to have learned that lesson, because now I only focus on styles my hair is successful at. Great post!

    1. Some styles work well for some..and not others...there are pros and cons no matter your hair type....Thanks for sharing...

  3. This is so true! Keeping realistic expectations for yourself and your hair is the best way to avoid disappointment and love your hair's unique quirks.

    1. Yup!! definitely the best way, thanks for sharing!!!


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