Disconnecting to reconnect

Around this time last month I was lamenting to my mother about feeling very stressed and wondering if this was the beginning of my “mid life crisis”. I had been feeling weary, flustered, angry, depressed and frustrated because I couldn't pin point the exact reason for all the emotions I'd been experiencing. Her response? “Nelle, I think you need a little getaway.” 

And she was absolutely right. Then again my mother is right almost all the time so I always heed her words. After discussing with the hubs, he agreed that a trip could do us some good. The easiest option for us was to run off to Tobago. 

Tickets for ferry? Purchased online with the swiftness. We went by ferry as we decided to take the car). 

Accommodation? Sorted with ease. We often stay at Store Bay Holidays which are apartments located a stone's throw away from Church's Chicken and walking distance from the airport. We already had a downpayment for a night's stay booked in, as we had planned to go last year February but postponed due to my car getting stolen. 

All in all, it took very little effort to organise our trip and then the countdown was on.

Now being the content creator that I am, how could I not pack my tripod, mini ring light, bluetooth remote trigger and the lot? Ya girl must get some aesthetic pics for the gram and videos for TikTok not so? 

That at one point was the plan. But as I stood on the deck of the Buccoo Reef ferry, and looked out at the waters as Port of Spain became more distant, something whispered in my ear to "disconnect". It was decided, this weekend would be a limited phone usage weekend.

To summarise the weekend, it was nothing short of amazing, and I enjoyed it far beyond my own expectation. For me, instead of focusing on content, I actively focused on being present. The hubs and I were able to just be with each other without the distractions of having our phones as extensions of ourselves. 

From the amazing food we ate, to teaching tourists how to do the electric slide (there may or may not be footage of this floating around somewhere), to immersing ourselves in the pristine blue waters that Tobago has to offer, we took it all in, and I, for the first time in a long time, was unbothered about creating content. Now don't get me wrong, I did snap a few photos and videos here and there, but the intention of those wasn't for creating content, rather, for creating memories. Would I post them to social media? Perhaps. 

All in all, I can easily say that this was the best trip to Tobago for me. And I know that it significantly has to do with disconnecting, especially from social media and taking the time to reconnect with not only my husband, but also myself. If you're thinking about taking a social media break, and you find yourself wondering why you should, Jessica Thodas from BeTimeFul shares quite a few, some of which really resonated with me:

  • It allows you to connect in the real world. In our short time in the sister isle I interacted with more persons face to face, and even made some new friends (shout out to Wayne and Lucia).
  • It allows your more quiet time. I was able to clear my mind and just be. The hubs and I simply relaxed and just allowed ourselves to be with each other. Feel free to interpret that however you may.
  • It benefits your mental health. Contrary to popular belief, I compare myself to others that I see on social media (it's a work in progress). And for once in a long time that feeling of not being adequate, or that feeling missing out wasn't there. 
Now here's the best part of disconnecting: You don't have to wait until you're going on a trip. You can make an active decision right now to take some social media downtime where you're not constantly scrolling or in my case, constantly on the hunt for things to post/share as content. As much as we hear that in order to do well on these apps, we need to post constantly, I'm here to say that your mental well being is far more important than being consistent on creating and/or consuming what these social apps have to offer. 

Now I can hear some of you saying that you just can't not be on social media. Okay, but the thing is, if you can't fully take a break from the jump, then you can start by limiting how many hours you spend on social media a day, or choosing a day of the week to not check any of the social apps. The urge to constantly be on your phone can be strong, trust me I know. But if you stick to limiting your time and taking breaks, you'll see how amazing it is to not feel like a slave to these apps, or to your phone in general. 

I for one, plan to limit my social media usage and take more breaks in the future, and I highly encourage you to do the same. Consider this your sign if you were looking for one. There isn't anything or anyone stopping you from trying, but you. 

Tshenelle aka Nelly B.


  1. Honestly, I was caught off guard when I read that you compare yourself to others on social media... I know it's total bs but in my mind, I'm like but how? I see you on social media doing your thing- photoshoots, content, showing up... But, I get it. I'm glad you got the chance to disconnect.

    1. It was needed girl. And yes, we all compare ourselves, even the ones who seem most confident.


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