It is NOT okay to hate on skinny women (the curvy vs skinny wars)

This needs to be said...

I'm pretty sure that if I ask any of my plus size friends about moments where they made fun of, ridiculed or made to feel ashamed of their size they could relive a few for me in a heart beat.

Of the few who I did ask, I got some stories that rocked me to the core. So many of them were described using words like whale, manatee, trini words like obzockie, mampee. Phrases like "you'd never get a man cuz ya so big and disgusting"

We often see it in the movies, the fat girl being made fun of by in most cases a group of skinny females. She is seldom ever the main character in a show, and if so, is either over the top (Monique's character in The Parkers comes to mind) or she's plagued with all these insecurities about herself and then some.

I will admit even I've experienced episodes of being scorned by for my size; by family members as well as by standard size models while backstage getting ready for shows.
So with the plus size movement making strides within the past few years,  I could not help but observe that us big girls began to walk with our heads held high, acknowledging that we aren't a size 2, heck most of us aren't even a size 12 lol. That we love our bodies (for the most part) and that we are no longer going to accept ridicule and size discrimination.

And then some went a little too far <<<----- yes...I just said that

I saw big girls attacking their slender counterparts: both on social network sites, and in the real world. They pick on them, ridiculed them, broke them down and made them to feel like nothing. I approached one of these plus size divas and asked her why she felt the need to do that and she said that all her life they did it to her, so now its her turn to show them how it feels. She felt really good about herself knowing that she put others down emotionally.

Now...part of me understood where she was coming from. When someone does us wrong we often have the urge to give them a taste of their own medicine, to show them (or any other person) how they made us feel. I guess we can call that human nature. HOWEVER, I believe in Matthew 7:12 "So in everything, do on to others as you would have them do on to you". Just because it was done to you does not mean that you should stoop to that's person level and in return act the same way towards someone else. Many people believe that because they were picked on/bullied that they have a so called "right" to treat others the same way (an eye for an eye , tooth for a tooth concept). 

NEWSFLASH!!!!! Being ridiculed/bullied does not give you a right to ridicule/bully others. In doing that you make yourself just as bad as the ones who victimised you in the first place. It seems that there are plus size people of the opinion that because they have been scorned by the media and society, they are now entitled to attack/retaliate those who fall within media's/society's acceptable list. Instead of promoting hate towards another group, why not promote love and positivity for our own? Why waste your time and energy talking/bashing/nagging "skinny people this..skinny people that" putting them down, making them look like the "enemy" when you can focus more and teaching our plus size family that they are beautiful and are loved and that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Now, on a page I admin which is dedicated to showing love and appreciation for plus size women, I love to share and see quotes and comments that encourage us big girls to love ourselves, not be ashamed of our bodies and take care of our bodies. But ever so often I coming across comments that worry me because all I see is a big girl bashing a slender girl just to make herself feel better. If you have to resort to putting down someone else to make yourself feel better then something isn't right with you. Why can't we love and appreciate everyone no matter size, race or any of these other factors that we use to classify ourselves.  

People need to understand that we come in so many different shapes, sizes, colours etc; and that there is beauty to behold in each of us. No one should be made to feel less than a person because they are different. After all, variety is the spice of life. Think about it

Tshenelle aka Nelly B.


  1. Love love love this. You goin' on my blogroll for sure! :)

    Giselle xoxo

    1. thank u very much, your comment is appreciated

  2. I really applaud this Tshenelle Songbird Bethel. As a person who has never been plus sized I have always been attacked for being 'super skinny'/bony/magga and constantly told 'meat are for men, bones are for dogs. It was as if it was my fault I was skinny because somehow to those people it seemed as if I was only skinny because I was doing something to not be 'fat' and I would only be considered a 'real woman' if I had curves.

  3. Good blog. It is called the fighting fire with fire syndrome. Sometimes it isn't what is said, it is how it's said. I have experienced the same type of thing moving from a smallie to a biggie and have learnt over time to let it all pass by. We have to find new and innovative ways of conquering these negative statements. Like making sure to make them curves look even more beautiful and holding our head high above all things. Just remember my personal credo- I am a curvy woman and I deserve to be healthy, fit and enjoy life. SO don't focus on people and situations that don't add value to your lives. Wear your curves, love your curves and show your curves.

  4. I love this Nelly. It got me a little emotional. While I have not experienced being ridiculed for being skinny in as mean a way as discussed, I feel for both skinny and curvy girls. No one should be made fun of because of their physique. Also beauty should not be determined by it either. I love my curvy friends....sometimes I even need a little curvy to fill a few things lol. But great really resonated with me! Luv Ya!

  5. This is a wonderful post, I have friends of all different shape, size, colour, height, etc. and they are all fabulous and amazing in their own special way. :)

    1. And that is wonderful. No matter our size we are all beautiful in our own right...thank u for sharing


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